My name is Jonas.

Good day, everyone. It is currently 3 something in the morning. Unfortunately, I've hit this point in my young life where I don't even hit the tip of the iceberg of sleepiness until about 4am. This is normal to me now. This is probably not good.

To start this out, I need to make it very clear that if someone would have told me a year ago, nay, even 6 months ago, where I'd be at in life today.. I would have laughed hysterically followed by a case of uncontrollable sobs while spoon feeding myself sorbet right from the carton. Life is such a freaking ride, isn't it? No.. In all seriousness.. I'm probably happier right now and more content with where I'm at and the way things are since as long as I can remember. Everything always has a funny way of working out.

Well here it is.
Here is my business that is no one's business. Unless you follow my blog. Then my mess of life is now on a platter for you to pick through and decide what looks good, what looks acceptably edible, and what looks so sad you wouldn't think about putting in your mouth.

I'm not engaged anymore.
That's pretty much all I've got to say on that matter.

I moved from Nampa to Boise last month. I'm about 5 blocks from the Boise State University and have absolutely no intentions of going back to college any time soon. I miss my mom, I miss the Utah mountains, I miss seeing black people, I miss the Jersey Shore wanna beez, I miss ... haha. Scratch the last mentioned one. People in Idaho are so... Normal. People don't try hard to be something society teaches them is 'cool' here. People are themselves. People are genuinely kind.
I like that.

I have a weird hair cut. Kind of shorter in back and longer in front. I guess the correct term is an A-line.. only mine is a Really long one. haha. I get girls touching my hurr daily at work and asking if I am aware that my hair is REALLY uneven. Tomorrow when it happens I'm just going to freak out and be like, "whaaaat?! I just got it cut!"

I shop online a ridiculous amount. Where I was staying before I moved to Boise supplied me a bed and dresser and all that good stuff so I never had any of the like that actually belonged to my name... So once I moved out of Nampa Town, I had to buy all new everything. New bed. New frame. New dresser. New mini table bedside thang... such a pain. Thank God for Target.com. I went a little too crazy there. They did, however, save my life with Free Shipping on orders over 75 bones. I couldn't believe my luck. I'm so glad I have a phat job that can help me feed my terrible shopping habits.

I get weirder looking with each passing day.

I miss Derek. Apparently he is getting into Photoshop. I asked to see his progress and this is what he sent back in reply.

That is my brother in law's face. On his face. My sister's face. And their child's face.

My younger male self is an absolute genius.

Continuing on, I live with 2 men. LET THE JUDGING POUR IN, UTAHNS. Anyway, Yes. I live with 2 men. Sometimes 2 boys... but most of the time they are 2 MEN. Their names are Carson and Colton. Mad entertaining. (By the way, Colty's twitter name is @coltonflynn92. I will be most happy if this gets him some random followers. hahah.) They are absolute sweeeethearts and they are clean and they are beautiful and they are 19 and 20 and they hail from Baker, Oregon -which is lovely- and they are tall and they are the funnest people I have ever ever lived with. They are redic spontaneous too. For example. I came home the other day and was greeted with a new river raft and two cutiepies asking if I was ready to go to the lake. I adore them, if you weren't able to tell. If you follow my twitta then you'll be able to take note that they are often mentioned. Carson and I are both dealing with a ridiculous work schedule of a daily 2:30pm to 11:00pm shift.. So as I brought up in this post's 2nd sentence, The regularity of getting yawny at 4am is just as constant with poor Carson as it is me. Even as I write this blog, he is to my right on the couch playing Minecraft.
Carson is intelligent.
Carson understands my anxiety.
Carson buys me energy drinks. and Monster Lemonade.
Carson paid for my dinner at Denny's tonight even though I told him i was taking HIM out. He paid for Colty's dinner too.... Who I ALSO said I was taking out.
Carson and Colty built me a dresser. and Soon they'll hook it up with a bedframe. I don't know how to thank them.
fuhhh............

HEY, a little late buuuut...

I need to make the public aware that this post is in dedication of my dear old friend Jordan Johnson. Jordan Johnson from West Valley, not the Jordan Johnson in Orem. The 'Happy Valley' Jordan is dope too.. But J from Dub Vee is as good as it gets and THIS is his moment in the sun that is my blog. The reason of this said dedication is because JJ will be leaving to Japan pretty soon here on his mish. What a freaking soldier. He is going to make Sooo many asians Sooo happy. I used to have a major crush on him in 2nd grade in Mrs. Frederickson's class. He was the class stud in his snappy overalls and whoosits and what not. Still the class stud... sans overalls. (As far as my knowledge goes, anyway. Maybe he's still rockin the outfit to this day. I haven't done a very good job on keeping up on his choice of wear.)

REASONS WHY JORDAN JOHNSON IS A BAD A$$$$$$.

- He has always made me a handmade birthday card. I keep them all saved in a little cubby deal.

- He made Honors Chem bearable. I still feel like I owe him to this day.

- He's never judged me. I hope.

- DANG GEENA

- He always remembered funny little random things and did a superb job at reminding me of them. For example... 'The Gennifer.'
- Uh he's going to JAPAN on his mission. He's going to live in Asia for 2 years. Who does that? Yeah. No one. Unless you're Jordan. Or happen to be called to that mission.
Japan will be lucky to have you, Jordan. btw, if you're reading this Jordan SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS. or email if available.

ok all. It's about that time. Goodbye. Goodnight.

Hot cup of what.

Needless to say, when I tried logging into my Blogspot and my fourth attempt at typing in my universal password failed.. I had a mini panic attack. I guess that shows just how long it's been. September 2011, if you want to get tricky.

Let me give you the very watered down version of my current existence.
I am 20 in August.
I have black hair and straight bangs.  *
I live in the glorious state of Idaho.  **
I am a Pinning addict.  ***
I watch Celebrity Apprentice religiously every Sunday.

* - For this first asterisk, I was going to go a bit more into detail about my hair. But after writing about a paragraph about it I thought to myself.. "No one really cares about your luscious black locks....." Moving along.
** - When I say the sentence.. "I live in Idaho," Chances are that you instantly picture me living on a farm with goats and chickens running a-muck while I complain about the new season's new allergies. If you were thinking this.. Then you were right. Kind of. That's only a half truth. There are, indeed, goats and chickens.. But they are very polite and regal and spend there leisure time in a gated pen or lovely coop.

*** - I do love Pinterest. I love it quite a bit. If you are not Pin Savvy, the idea behind Pinterest is for people to find things they like/want to do.. and organize them into categories/boards. I use it just about every day.. But I don't actually Pin very many things because I am afraid other people will like what I like and my unique finding will stop being so cool. I guess in other words.. I am what you would call a Selfish Pinnuh.

I seem to have a Lot of free time these days.. To fill up my free time.. I have been spending it wisely by dedicating myself to becoming a Mirfanda. Basically this means I am a fan of Miranda. Let me give you a taste of all that is great concerning my latest Youtube sensation obsession. Although Sexy and I Know It makes me want to pull my hair out.. Her version seems to calm my nerves.

I know this blog hasn't had extremely specific tales as per usual but they will come next time, No fear.
K it's like 2 and I'm tired k Bye

Raisins+Fires+Raper Vans=Janessa.

My hand gets all sticky after eating all my raisins.. But I still love raisins all the same.


What's up, world?
(Oh, Please don't be that guy who says, "The sky.")

In fact, while we're on the topic of being That Guy, I'm going to go ahead and start this blog post out with one of my own personal encounters.
I once went to this big Bonfire thrown by UofU students. It was in the desert-ish part of Tooele (side note: LOL at me saying that. I feel like ALL of Tooele is desert-ish.).
So it started out really cool, tons of humans were showing up by the minute and my girl Karli was introducing me to all these new people. There was a live band and dancing and the fire was burning high. My front kept getting crispy so every now and then I'd turn around and let the fire cook my backside. I guess you could say I felt like I was a self-proclaimed human hotdog being turned over a campfire.. Fun.
Then the coppers showed up and told us that the invisible hermits that lived in the nearby hills were complaining about the noise. So our awesome party quickly died. Now, you have to understand that for reasons that even I am not aware of.. I'm always one of the last awkward linger-ers at a social gathering. I just don't know when to quit. :( Le Sad. The crowd's numbers were noticeably thinning, and eventually there was about 30 of us half-heartedly small talking around this lonely, giant fire.
-I notice that in strange moments where I don't know what to do with myself, I tend to just kind of.. Look up. So here I am, away from the city lights, just looking at all the stars.. And then I notice a lot of other people are doing this too. THEN... This guy pulls out his desktop of a smartphone and opens an app that points out Constellations. Soon people were walking over to him and he had quickly drawn a miniature crowd.
Now picture me scurrying over to him to see what all the fuss was about. As I walked over to him, He turned to me and said, "Haha, I know I know I know... I'm That Guy with the Stars app." I thought to myself, What a funny thing to say. Who says that? He seems cool. Yes. He is weird. I like him. I continued to stare and make up ideas about him in my head... Until I began to notice he was saying, "Yeah yeah, I'm That Guy with the Stars app" to Every Single Person that walked over. In my mind I was like, omgwtfbbq? He is saying that exact sentence to Every one of us! Cool factor suddenly went down. He recycles funny phrases within seconds of saying them. He is generically funny. Nope. Can't date him.
And with that, you now understand how I weed through guys and decide who is dateable and who is not.
HAHA. Sorry if you read all of that and are now like, "Okay........... :3"
oh. :3 <-----this is a catface, by the way.

Moving Along!
Something bad happened to the lot/driveway in front of my house. (My dad told me I should write DRIVEWAY next to LOT because people will think I'm weird and that this would make it more understandable if I added DRIVEWAY in......... Anyway.) There is now a White van in my driveway. But hold up, it's not just some white van. It's a rape van. I should have suspected it.. I caught my parents looking at it on KSL a few nights before.. (read my next sentence in one of those voices where you're trying really hard to stay calm, but by the end of the sentence you're practically shouting, ok?) ....But I never thought we would actually be the OWNERS of a huge white bus van with filled-in windows?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I practically fainted in my car when I pulled up and saw that thing in my lot. In MY parking spot. Those vans you could picture getting kidnapped and raped in? Rape Vans? Yup. It's ours and what's done is done, so now I must deal with it accordingly. So... All I have to say, is.. Hide your kids.

Remind me to dedicate my next blog solely to my Dad. Howard. He kicks butt.

Oh, I totally am a Hypogriff. I mean a Hypocrite. In my last post I complained about FB and Twitter. But...... I have a Facebook. and a Twitter. @DipnDap :D yay.

Awe, my mom just ran inside half crying and said, "My happy plant is dead!"
She is so cute. Remind me to dedicate my next blog to my Mom too now. She is Great.

I also said I'd mention Allie Webb in this post, so here it is. ALLIE WEBB HAS LONG HAIR AND I HOPE SHE NEVER CUTS IT AND I ENJOY MAKING GOALS WITH HER THAT FALL THROUGH BECAUSE WE MAKE PLANS TO BREAK PLANS AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT AND SHE HAS CAT EYES AND SHE LOVES CATS JUST LIKE me.

I'm Baaaaaaack.

It's been like 6 months since my last post. I think I'll just make this blog an update since the prior. I've been one busy little duckling. Also, I figured out how to do pictures, so be ready for a little handful.

First of all, I would just like to take a moment and draw attention to my last post, where I showed a picture of my new precious little kitten, Pierre. Fast forward a chunk of time.. The picture below is what he looks like Now..

I guess we all kind of grow up and get fat eventually.

So here is a quick run-down on what in the world my silly life has been doing for the past half-year.

- I work at Best Buy. I want to sell you a camera, so please stop in soon. Here is a picture me and my little brother, Derek, took on the store's display for the iPad 2 while stopping in one day. He took the liberty of making it the iPad's background.

Then next day while working, a customer came in wanting one.. So naturally I walked them over to our demos. Let's just say when they picked it up and I saw what the wallpaper was.. I was slightly embarrassed. They were like.. "Oh.. Is that you..?" and I had to do that awkard thing where you explain a story that goes blabbering on pointlessly instead of just simply replying, "Yes."

-Still haven't spent a single day in a school classroom. Weber never happened. Me and my Cassie friend were like, "Ok, we just did 13 years of school.. We're going to take one year off!" and that's what we did. Only now, we are SO bored. It's unholy. Yeah there's work to give time to and what nots, but it gets bad. Soon you find yourself taking like 3 baths in a single day just to pass time, sewing your name into your underwear to stay occupied, or it even gets to the point where you actually begin desiring to clean your room. There's only so much you can do to keep yourself from melting into goop and slipping down through the living room heat vents. So to any recent high school graduates.. GO TO FREAKING SCHOOL. As attractive as the goop idea sounds.. I don't advise it.
Oh but in other school news, I'm now UVU-bound and am most definitely looking for some roomies. Let me know if you are game. :)

-I got my grubbies on all 3 of The Hunger Games. :) what a delightful thing, indeed.

-this is my funny Joseph friend. We get along most days.

I think he'll enjoy that of all pictures, I chose this one.

- I deleted my Facebook. Agaaaaain. Lawl. I get tired of hearing about how great/terrible/boring everyone's day has been. Or being informed how much the weather sucks or reading about how much someone misses someone else. That goes for all you Twitter folk, too. Social foolz.

-Cassie friend's 19th birthday is on the 22nd of this month, and to celebrate.. we are going to drive down to Venice, CA and fry our healthy skin in the hot sun. I can't wait to be 40 and a raisin.. Yaaaaay... Actually.. Let's say cranberry instead. It sounds more elegant. 40 and a cranberry.

- My sister Jenelle is as pregnant as can be.

It's a little boy. :D She is due July 23rd and I am going to be his absolute best friend. They won't tell us the name they have in mind.. But we've definitely thrown in our suggestions such as Zordon, Dwight Schrute and Tiberius, just to name a few. hahhaha.
Sometimes when I look at her.. I think, "Wow, what an incredible miracle that there is another human body inside of her body." ... Buuuut like all good things, I have to ruin it. So after thinking about it for too long, I get the willies and go play with my Pierre cat.

-I have continued to lust after the new Chevy Malibus... I searched the death out of KSL with my Dad for weeks to find one. We decided we didn't need to buy one new if I could get a sweet deal on a car with low mileage.. But while on my faithful search for the dream car... I ended up spotting something a bit better than what I hoped for. It's a little 2008 Chevy Aveo and World, THIS GIRL IS IN LOVE. :) :) :)

Here is my Baby. It's name is Pascal.

:) Well I better make like a baby and head out. It's been very real. The pies I made for my singles ward's dinner (that I probably won't even end up going to) are done. I am so handy with my time. Have a loverly week, my little birds.

Kitty Kitty Meow Meow + Flanders.

When I realized snakes are basically just tails with faces, I almost cried.

Oh, and Cherry Turnovers from Arby's are HIGHLY underrated.

Well. Instead of apologizing for taking so long to post anything, picture one of the Men In Black, preferably Will Smith's character, running a hand through his hair and suavely saying, "I've been a little busy."

Remember those Series of Unfortunate Events books? There's like 13 or so of the books in the series. Long story short, It's about these 3 charming orphans who's dead parents left them an enormous fortune.. and a man named Olaf is out to get them using ridiculous disguises. It's fascinating. I love the writing. I haven't picked them up since 8th or 9th grade, but I've recently began reading them all again. They are preeeetty funny but at the same time rather sad. I don't care how old you are, if you've never read them.. You need to. Like, now.

I don't tell people this often, but you know how when you're bored on the computer and don't have much to do, you end up watching Youtube vids mindlessly for an hour and a half?? Well that's what I do. But with pictures of kittens. I mindlessly look at cute pictures of kittens.

ehhhyeahh.....

But, in my defense, it could be worse. There are sites dedicated to people who have my kitty interest x50. There are pages.. blogs... chat forums... all for (I'm supposing,) middle aged women to talk about their cat and how nice and cuddly and happy it is. I've even seen a page with a picture of a cat, and under it, there's a space for the page's members to make a caption. Most of them say something along the lines of, "Oh I'm the cutest cat, my owners must love me!" or, "I'm such a princess, awwwwww" ...........I'm dead serious.

...

Well.. I've done it again. I was on Facebook the other night when I saw something that Kimberly Vongsenekeo posted. It was a KSL add for a cat. After looking at her post for her new kitty Stitch, I made the mistake of wandering through KSL looking at other little cats.

It was 9pm at the time. The next thing I knew, I was dialing a number and asking if I could come get the cat from one of the advertisements.. and suddenly I found myself in Layton. Picking up this little orange devil.

I named him Pierre. Georges Saint Pierre. He's a fighter and a biter. I like him. :)

Oh, it's raining.

and Darn,
I left my hot new Chevy Malibu's windows rolled all the way down.
I guess that means my super smooth suede seats are now ruined.
Nooot. I don't have a sexy car with fancy upholstered seats to ruin with rain at all.
-ok. I suppose it would've been easier to replace the entire above sentence with this: I DON'T OWN MY OWN CAR. But what would the fun in that be?
.... and yes. I DO find Malibus incredibly attractive.

I hate changing my fb relationship status.

Me and Jordan both just got the newest Ipod Touch!!

Ok. Let me resay that. Jordan just got the newest Ipod Touch. Little old me is still stuck in the past. Needless to say, I'm jealous of him. Although, contradictorily, I'm not really for all the hoop n holler that is Apple. So maybe I'm just envious because he has something fancy and new and shiny that I don't have.

But when he was dangling it in front of my face in the car today to show it off, I was reeeeeeeeeeeeeally tempted to rip it out of his hands and throw it out the window. Hopefully it would land somewhere conveniently soft so that I could come back later and use it for myself. I guess I'm selfish that way.

I work at Zumiez but since I got a second job with In N Out, I haven't worked at Zumiez for literally 3 months.. So I feel like if I walked in right now, I'd be shunned. Or maybe I'm just too timid to go into the store because I absolutely can't stand when people do that annoyingly pointless guilt trip thing. i.e. "Wow, where have you been? Too cool for us now?"

On the bright side, In n Out is CRAZY fun. Come by sometime. I'll make you food. hahahaha.

Did you know that you can't taste what your carbonated drink is for just barely over one second after it's in your mouth? Well maybe that's not a completely accurate fact... But it is when applied to me. haha

You know Shane from Shane Co, the guy on the radio who says, "Now you have a friend in the diamond business." ?? I think his voice sounds kinda like a low version of Flanders from the Simpsons. :)

Well, I'm going to go play with Pierre now. He's such a diva. Tata, friends.

C'mon gang, We've Got Diem to Carpe.

My mother is a nag.
Cleaning my room is such a drag.
My anger is boiling till I get a pretty rash.
and Then she says "Oh do shut up, take out the trash."
- Janessa Mariah Dapp, 4/25/10 (Nonfictional story told in an accurate account.)

We never answer the phone at my house unless someone leaves a message. (Because we don't have Caller ID and do well to avoid pesky telemarketers who want to let us know about all the vacations we May Have won.) (and just so ya know, I've tried with ALL my might to get dad to let me make a personalized voice greeting. "You've got the Dappies, leave a leave a leave a messsaaaageee!" But noooo... It was too childish for his taste.) But this leads me to a wonderful little tale. This one time, a guy from some insurance agency was calling, but he actually left a message instead of hanging up when he got our voicemail. It went something like this: "Hello, Dapp family. My name is Gregory and I'm just calling to let you know about our most recent Auto Coverage Package. blah blah, more blah.. And we would really appreciate it if you could take just a few minutes to -- BUUUUURRRRP!!-- call us back... Thanks, bye." ... It was probably the Loudest belch I've ever heard as well as the highlight of that entire week. Must've been one of those unexpected bubbles of gas that just randomly rolls up the throat in the middle of a sentence... I dunno. But it had me laughing so hard. After that happened, I caused a big ruckus and got all of my family into the kitchen to listen to the voicemail. Unfortunately, no one found as much humor in it as I did and it made me feel really immature... Eh. Losers.

I had Jordan convinced for a good solid month and a half that my middle name was Matt.

I really like this whole blog thing I've got going on - It makes me happy! :) I was talking to my friend about it yesterday when I realized that I don't like to talk about events... But little details that happened in the events. Like.. If I went to a beautiful wedding.. I wouldn't talk about the wedding... I'd rather talk about the strange looking baby that sat in front of me at the wedding.

hahhaha. What a freak.

-- SATURDAY !

• gave a talk at Jake's and Ammity's baptisms.
• visited That River wiff my special friend.
• looked at body-part shaped clouds. (Soooonotwhatyouthink.) Well.. Maybe.
  
• watched Jenelle and Tim clean out their freshly broken-into car window.
  
• ate a meal fit for a king. or a polynesian. Compliments to Jody. and Dee.
• prayed.
• helped some amateur film makers by lending in my weird Celeb Quality face.
• had some fun teaching myself to skateboard.
• continued skating for a good 20 minutes while Jordan ditched me.
• haha.
• SMILED. a lot. Puppy love is the best love.

Wow, I'm just awkward to the point where it's downright hilarious.

You know how sometimes you just kind of zone out during class and when that Zone Out occurs, your eyes kind of get fixated on something and you can't look away? My friends and I like to call this: The Stupid Stare. Ahh, yes. This happened last Friday to me. The odd part was that the object that I got stuck on was this girl across the room's feet. hhahhaahahha. She had sandles on. Anyway. I was pulled out of my stupor when she curled her feet under themselves. And when I looked up at her face, she was already looking at me. Before she turned into the other direction, she gave me a Why-the-hell-are-you-staring-at-my-feet Look. She caught me! It must've made me look like such a creeper!
- I can't stop laughing in my cute little brain when I think about it.

Well. I'm out like a dud firework on the 4th of July. I'll be back with more strangeness soon. Bye now.

Clean up on aisle Tres.

I think I'd better learn how to put pictures up on here. It appears that I'm lacking in the computer smarts department.