Meow.

You guys, I'm picking up odd urges lately. Let me shed a little light.
- When I drive home from a night drill practice, or driving anywhere during dark hours for that matter, and I see people walking by themselves down the street... I'm VERY tempted to pull over and offer them a ride. Especially when it's cold.
- Wanting to run my hands through others' hair. This actually occurred today, as a matter of fact. I was standing behind this kid in Seminary. Now this kid has some shiny blond hair that's styled into a long, thin shag. Without thinking, my hand started raising towards his hair to touch it. THANK GOODNESS my hand only moved a few inches before I thought. "Jane. What The Weirdo, what are you doing?!" Hahahah. Just so you know, I'm dead embarrassed to have shared that story with you all. Oh Well.
- Whenever someone sitting near me gets up and leaves their seat.. I want to lean over and quickly doodle a stick figure doing something funny on their paper. I wouldn't do it to someone I didn't really know, no way. That'd be a different story...

Dot Dot Dot.

I'M GOING TO WEBER, and that's that:) I'm ready to be done with all of the high school silliness! Me, Marychase, and possibly Samir are planning to go there. We're attempting to pull Cassie over too. College. Next Fall. Purple. Here we come.

I need to write this down before I forget about it.
The other week, I was walking down the hall to the dance room for one of my classes when I clumsily drop my jacket. I pick it up, keep walking... and all of the sudden I hear some guy quite near me say, "Da--, look at that a--." So I'm thinking, "Oh my. Just... keep walking." I walked for a little while longer, afraid to turn around to face the disrespectful creeper.. But I couldn't hold it in any longer, knowing that he was still following me, just steps behind. I turn around to say something, only to find that it was my friend RJ. I let out a sigh of relief knowing it was just him that made the comment. For all of you who don't know RJ, he is gay. That explains my relief when I realized it was him. haha. RJ is as original as it gets. He tells me when I do ugly things in dance and doesn't care about softening up his critiques. If it were anyone else telling me, I'd probably get ticked off. He also started blogging. I want to share his link, hopefully he doesn't mind?? dearworlddiary.blogspot.com

Well, today was the first day that I haven't had noticeably puffy eyes. I've done my share of crying/whining/being-a-baby the past little bit. It's been hard. And people, you should all know better than to ask me loudly in the middle of a crowded room, "HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING EARLIER?? YOU WERE, HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON, WHAT'S WRONG? TELL ME TELL ME, YOU CAN TELL ME!" Tsk Tsk, guys. Way to embarrass me. haha.
I'm pretty glad I'm LDS. It's been a big help for me in a situation such as this.
I'm having a hard time changing my Facebook "Relationship Status."
I think I'm alright to say that I've accepted that it happened.. But I can't bring myself to change anything.
So if you're still confused about whatever the heck I'm talking about... Yes, world. I find myself single again.
It kind of sods all.

Low In Quality.

Well.

feeling about this big.
too loud|too bright|too much.

-got the call Friday evening:
how will I break the news to you?

I'm heartbroken.
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!... Tardies... Weak arms.

Man, I've been on a banana high. I crave bananas. I have one for breakfast sometimes, I get one from the cafeteria, I eat them with my dinner... because just like rice, bananas seem to compliment everything. To me, at least.

Heck Of.
I've developed a talent of swatting those quick little fruit flies mid-air with my hands! I rarely miss. Aren't you proud of me?

--May there be no racial offense taken in this next paragraph:)--
Dear students of Granger High...
There is Nothing that irritates me more than the following:
-When poly kids CHASE each other while laughing hysterically down the hall, carelessly hitting people in the process. Grief.
-When the Mexicans just STAND in the middle of the hallway talking between classes. Not quite the best place for conversation. This goes for the people who crowd around the bottom of the stairway too. Sheesh!
-Slow walkers. This'll have to be my number one pet peeve. Ok, I know I walk a bit faster than the average girl, but daaang, Geena. You may not care about being late, But I Do.

I just made a connection.
All these new little fruit flies are probably around more on the cause of my new-found love of Bananas. hahah. Could that be the case??

Every other morning, I wake up for Drill practice a little after 5. I get myself ready, put my school clothes together, and stress that I leave 15 minutes before 6am so that I won't have to worry about being tardy.
-- Then there's the days that I don't have drill. You better believe I'm always late. I usually pull into the parking lot 10 minutes after the first bell.
Myyy Error.

Speaking of being late.
The other morning, I was rushing to get to the school from the parking lot so that I could attempt to beat the bell. Well as I was power-walking and weaving between the cars, I passed a white Honda. I noticed that it's lights were still on, with no one inside. I continued walking without much thought.
Kept Walking..
Kept Walking..
Crap. Alriiiight.
I turn around and walk back in the direction of the white car.
I rip open my pack-pack and hastily grab a pen and paper and write down the license plate number so that I could turn it in into the office.
I'd feel so bad if someone came out to their car to find that their battery had died over their simple mistake... but I'd feel especially terrible if I had seen that same car earlier and not done anything.
I get inside the main hallway and the bell had already buzzed. Frick! So I'm like. "Why do you have to be so kind?" haha. jk.
I turn the license plate number into the nice lady with brown hair and feel accomplished with myself.
I walk to class. Walk to my seat. Give Mr. Pace a head nod.. (Oh yeah, Me and Mr. Pace are good pals. We nod at each other and thas whassup.)
--I had a class outside later that day, so I made a stop at that car on my way out. Sure enough, It's lights were off. Hooray!

Isn't it funny how attitudes have influences on other attitudes? Something preeeetty crazy happened Monday morning at practice. It needed to happen though, I think... Because everything feels better and together now. Iloveyou,team.

A while back, for one of my dance teams, we were supposed to receive our Sweats one day. But the lady that delivers them to us couldn't make it.
I asked Adeena, "Where is she?"
A: "Her son died, she won't be coming."
Me: "??!!"
The lady that gives us our clothes doesn't seem that old, her son is fairly young.. He is maybe in his early 20's. When I found out what had happened, I felt so strange. Just about a week before that, I met him for the first time when he was helping his mom deliver our drill outfits. It made me feel so odd knowing that someone that had made an appearance in my life, for only a few minutes, was GONE.. That the young, healthy looking person I had just seen was now being lowered into the dirt.
It made me remember how fragile life is.
I'm praying for that lady. Hopefully she'll find some comfort.

Part of Halloween was spent at a family party at the Stott's. There were fun little activities for all the children. There are a LOT of children.. or at least there are in comparison to my own family. While wandering around the happy atmosphere, I had Jon's Sister's child, Isaac, propped up on my hip for a little while. He has a sweet little face and "floofy" light blond hair. He's adorable!
Alright, Angela. Let me just say, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but parts near my armpits and lower back were a little sore the next day. Now, It's not that I'm not in decent shape. But man, having a kid has got to be tough beans physically. haha. I admire you, you muscular mommy, you.

Wedding Donuts. Oldies Love. Lemony Stott.

1. I eat the ends of loaves of bread because I feel bad that no one wants them.
2. About a quarter of the pictures in my phone were taken of people without them being aware.
3. I'm afraid. Of a lot of things. A lot of the time.
4. I eat a lot of cereal. It's best when it's really really soggy from chocolate soy milk. What Of It??
5. Yesterday I took a total of 3 hot baths throughout the day.
6. Lately, I really want to get a dog. But only if it's a pretty one... Yeah, I'll be shallow about it.
7. My dad says that bald is beautiful.


I'm allergic to dairy. All Dairy. It's a little depressing for me to know that I won't be able to have my wedding cake shoved in my face at my reception...Cuz that looks like a lot of fun.
Well, I don't know, should I even have a cake there at all? Should me and my new husband have something else instead, considering my circumstances? Or would that be selfish of me?
Would it be cool just to have a huge display of glazed donuts, arranged and piled in the shape of the Salt Lake Temple? hahahahha.
Half of me is joking.

I don't want to turn to a tub of jelly once I've graduated and Drill will be over with...
So I'm thinking of joining Elite afterwords. Or simply just taking a Jazz class at SLCC. I mean, when you dance as much as I do in high school, not continuing in any way would be really sad. I guess We'll see what happens.

Temperance has a lot to do with Self Control. Well... That's pretty much what it is, Controlling human appetites, right? After hearing a talk a few Sundays ago, I've just felt the need to really improve myself in that area.
With that said, I've gotta bring this about... Is it wrong that I'm consistently looking for the faster way to get to things?
I just crave instant gratification. During one of the Conference talks last Sunday, I took away from it that Patience is another form of Self Control.
So maybe if I'm just a little more patient in all that I do, I'll grow. Maybe letting everything take its own time and running its own course could be a good thing.

Not too long ago, I discover a man named Bren Bataclan. He's been leaving his quirky little creature paintings all over the world in conspicuous places for people to find and pick up. He attaches a note to his paintings that says something along the lines of, "This painting is yours for free if you promise to smile more at random people."
I think that that is really cool. Check it out at BATACLAN.com.

My sister is a respiratory therapist. Also known as an RT. (oh, grow up. haha) Anywho.. She was working with a patient, Darla**, that was attached to a ventilator. Since she's got a breathing tube shoved down her throat, she's not exactly in the best of speaking conditions. Let me tell ya, from what I hear, Darla was Not a happy camper. I guess when my sister was suctioning out the mouth slime & grime to remove the tube, Darla was swatting at Jenelle's arms and hands. Poor elderly lady, I can see it now. My favorite part of the story was that since she couldn't talk, she would get my sister's attention, look her straight in the face, and slowly mouth swear words at her. hahahaha. I think me and Darla would get along.
**name has been changed. (Sorry, couldn't resist)

My mom's birthday is on the 10th.
Jenelle and Tim came over so we could celebrate it a few days early. Where did we go?.... Dun Dunna Nuhhh!!! Golden Corral. (chuckles to self).
There's something about buffets that kind of weirds me out. Just all of that food... Just sitting there telling you that "You Can Have As Much of Me As You Want."... I'm not even sure how to explain it. I'm failing miserably. Maybe someone out there will understand my odd fear of buffets. Well, it's not that I'm afraid of them.. uhhh.. Nevermind.
But I digress,
As I was waiting behind a short n' stout, white-haired woman for the onion rings, I fell into a stare at this man, not 7 or 8 feet away. He was obviously Very plentiful in years, and had the most wrinkles on his face and neck I had ever seen. In My Entire Life. His adams apple was protruding quite far and it was interesting to watch it slide up and down when he'd swallow or mutter something.
I really liked something about this old man.
Moments later, I watched the white haired woman that was standing in front of me walk to him and link her arm with his before they walked back to their table together.
I dunno, guys... but It Made Me So Happy.

After the Night Forum at Granger Thursday night, I just really had the urge to go and visit Jon's mom. Since Jon is up at Utah State, I don't really see Susan so often anymore. I was over there for about an hour and a half. We talked about a lot of things, looked at a lot of family pictures.. I was just enjoying myself.
During Conference sessions, family members in the Stott home make soap bars that are shaped like actual lemons. They smell incredibly lemony too:) It's REALLY cool lookin. She was so kind to give me one. I'm going to cherish it. haha.
I really liked something that she told me about Patriarchal Blessings though, I think it's going to be something that will stick with me forever.
Susan is an all around beautiful person.

...Hmm. Thought for the Sunday.

Breakdowns create breakthroughs.
Things fall apart so things can fall together.
- Napoleon hill said that "in every adversity lies the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit."

...Sometimes we slip into complacency. When things go well, it's easy to 'coast'. Feeling content with life is good, but we shouldn't necessarily be satisfied with just that. Not too many of us out there are as good as we could be, and for that reason, we shouldn't be appeased with our current standings.
A break-down, big or small, may be just what we need to Stimulate us, Shake us up, and Create the change we need in our lives.


As weird as this may be... I've never watched Conference before.
And Gosh.
I've been missing out.

One, Two, Three, Four, I declare an... Arm Wrestle?

I had an incredible urge. An urge to buy reading glasses. Did I have a perscription? No. Did I even need glasses to start with? No. Did that matter to me? Oh, Of Course Noooot:)
So I hopped into Grace (who was fixed the other week, by the way), and drove myself to the nearby store. I walked over to where the glasses were, spun the little display shelf around and picked out a few pairs. After trying on the 2nd pair, I suddenly felt embarrassed. Planning to buy unnecessary glasses suddenly made me feel really childish. So I put the 4 pairs back and left the store, thinking to myself, "Good Job, Jane. You overcame the temptations of fancy glasses once again."
Ohh Yeahh. This was not the first time.


My Mom's Job Is Baaad.
She works from home and she's the lady that picks up the phone when you call the 1-800 numbers to buy things from infomercials. In the Summer, I used to come home from drill around 10am, Exhausted, mind you, and lay on her bed and listen to answer calls. "Thank you for calling 'Your Baby Can Read,' my name is Jona and this call will be recorded for accuracy, May I continue?" Haha.
I never really noticed my Mom's slight accent until I listened to her talk on the phone.

Homecoming was this week and I was deathly ill.. That's right. On ma death bed.
Ooook not reeeeally, just feeling a bit under-the-weather.

Friday night was the Football game against Hunter.
When 2nd quarter starts, All of the Excaliburs have to leave the stands and go to the dance room to get ready for the half-time performance. (We change into costumes, stretch, and go over the routine a few times.) Being RUSHED is just something that comes with being on a drill team. And while under rushed circumstances, No one has time to cover up while changing or to Run to the bathroom to take off their bras/undies... I'm just saying. When you need to hurry, and you are all straight females, no one really cares about who sees what.
I've been on drill 3 years. With give or take a few.. about 20 members each year.
All in all, I've seen about 50 Butts. 50... of that Other body part... and 100 chests.
hahaha. Oh it's just too funny.
It's not that I look intentionally, No, That's definately not the case, But sometimes you turn around while taking a shoe off or something and KaBam!


Every time I go to Michaels, the craft store, I go to one specific spot.
The Fake Flower Aisle. (Cue confettie and marching band)
And everytime I walk through that aisle, I take a few flowers and leave with them right in my hand. I know the Gay Cashier man sees me... but he never says anything. No one else seems to notice. or care.

OK, I've just got oooone question.
When you leave a tip on the table, who picks it up? The waitress or the busboy?

I've noticed, and am sorry to admit, that I tend to eat more politely at home than in restaurants. Alright, maybe it's not the eating that's the sloppy part, just what I leave behind. I always leave messy little remnants of my dinner around the plate. Nothing huge like a dollop of barbeque sauce or a smear of mashed potatoes, just like... little slices of onions, or chicken finger crumbs. Does anyone else have this same habit? I probably wouldn't make such messes at home.

Speaking of habits, Me and my Jon are breaking bad habits together:)
But I won't be telling you what they are.
.... ok Fineee. I have vowed to not bite my nails. It's a filthy habit that I've had since I can remember, but it's time for it to go.

This last Sunday, I was up in Ogden for a friend's Farewell talk. It went really well.
Afterwards, there was a little lunch prepared back at my friend's house. I've never really had potato salad before... but I had it there. Let me tell ya, it's the weirdest thing I've ever tasted.
It didn't take too long before Jenelle ditched me and I decided I was bored with Derek. I looked around the backyard where everyone was. I was literally Scanning the place, area by area, looking for a little entertainment. NONE. So then I did something that I do in many boring situations. It's weird. I know. Oh well.. I go into the bathroom and sit on the counter or the edge of the tub for a few minutes. and Wait. That's it. I just wait around. For some reason, doing that seems to pass time faster than making small talk with people.
Moments later, I walk out of the bathroom to find 3 people waiting in line. The 2nd girl looked pretty anxious. Hahaha.
Once I had returned to the backyard, I found Derek and we went to sit under an umbrella-covered table. (hmmm. I think I made that sound like we were sitting under a table. But you get the point. The table we were sitting AT, not UNDER, had an umbrella above it.) Good greif, I should've just erased that first sentence and told you correct facts about the table instead of going and writing all of that durn in the parenthesis above. Now I've just wasted even more time! ANYWAY! When me and Derek sat down at the table, I was like. "Arm wrestle, you game?" He agreed. We began. He failed, I won. "Rematch!" Again, He failed, I won. "One More! and this time I get to use both hands!" Surprise... He failed:) He then leaned back in his seat and said slowly and quietly..."You're so muscley, Janessa......" It made my day complete.

Stalker Files. Slow little girls. Brand New.

The Best = Your phone rings.. Who Could It Be? Eek! Your personal stalker. Now, in a situation like this, you have the beautiful option of setting your phone down on the table and watching it vibrate in circles while your Creeper Caller gets your voicemail.
The Worst = Stalker calls from an unknown number. Girl gets excited to see a curious new number and answers call. Well......
Girl is now basically screwed.
--Have you ever gone to great lengths to ignore someone? I sure have. I've gone to incredible lengths! Ok, maybe not incredible lengths, but I think it'd be safe to say that I'm a pretty good Avoider.

I heard the funniest little thing come out of Kenadee's mouth the other day. Here's how it went.
"-I'm thirsty! -And I'm Friday. Let's get together Saturday and have us a Sunday."
Haahah. Has everyone on this planet already heard that one except for me??

Although I fear I won't be able to explain it very well and will just end up leaving the impression on you that I'm plain stupid, I now have something ridiculous to shove into your pretty little mind.
-- Take your hands, and put them together by interlocking your fingers. It feels normal, right? Because your hands are both the same size and they already fit, riiight?? But when you hold hands with other people.. Have you ever wondered what it feels like for the other person's fingers to be intertwined with yours?? What does your hand feel like to someone else?

There are 2 things that I cannot tolerate.
1. Rude behavior in a man. (haha)
2. Driving behind an Asian.
I'm an Asian myself, but DANG. The true oriental oldies are terrible drivers! They signal left and go right, drive ATLEAST 10 under the speed limit, and brake at unnecessary random times.
My dear AJ friends, if this applies to you, Please just stay home on your pretty Asian-smelling couches and drink your delightful Asian tea:) (Jason, you're an exception.)

The other week, I went to my little brother's Cross Country meet at Jefferson Jr. High. The sky was ever so slowly growing grayer and grayer... An obvious warning for rain. Me, Ma and Howard grabbed a few umbrellas and headed out to where West Lake's runners were. Then we found some little area on the grass that wasn't already occupied by obnoxious little junior highers.
BAM!
A clap of thunder boomed followed shortly by a downpour of rain.
Since Ma's health must come before my own, she got to wear my warm little jacket. (Pulls a gritted smile.) It. Was. Freeezing.
So there the three of us were.. Sitting out in the middle of a field of grass in the middle of a rain party. About.. ehh.. 3 or 4 minutes later, Ma and Howard ditched the open wetness to go stand under some roof thing. But I didn't get up to follow them. I stayed sitting on the grass, about 4 inches off the ground in my little beach chair with a crappy umbrella over my head. All was well, despite the freezing coldy cold wind.
I was about to get up and leave too, when all of the sudden... Some little girl that was about to start her race runs up to me, throws an armful of clothes at me, and as she's running away yells at an alarming speed, "Willyouholdtheseformeuntili'mdone? Kthankyou!!" I was stunned. Frightened almost.
After like 20 minutes, that darn little child finished her race and came to get her things. FINALLY!! And let me tell you this, she was Not a fast runner.
After that, I was shaking so I decided it was time for me to Cowardize to some shelter. I stood up, grabbed the silly chair I was on, and found my Mommy. She then pushed on my right shoulder to turn me back around so she could see my back. She laughed and said, "You're soaked." Poor little Jane. It was so cold out there that I seriously had no idea the entire back of my thin light blue shirt was soaked through. Oops.

Hahaah. I just need to say this. My parents are married. They are together. I usually refer to them as "Ma and Howard," I know, But Howard is indeed my Dad. I guess that by consistently calling him by his first name may make it sound like he's my Step-dad or something.. But that's not the case. Howard Dapp is my true Father.

Do you think there's such a thing as a Bad Person?
I've asked myself this before, but I've just gotten real deep into thought about it today. What's my answer? It can't be true. At All. I believe that every person out there has Something in them, in some it may be deeper than others, but each person has at least a pinch in them that means well. "I am made up of hundreds of thousands of flaws, all sewn together by honest, good intentions." Doesn't everyone else see themselves this same way, despite what other opinions people may have?

Sometime in your life, you've dropped/lost a possession of yours that you truly loved.
But what if someone else picked it up/found it, and felt incredibly lucky about it? What if it made their day? ...Or what if it was just something that they Really needed to come across at the time and your lost object helped them out? - Thoughts like those make me not mind as much when I lose things in public.

Brand New's new songs from their album Daisy are AMAZING. I love it. I recommend you check em out.