Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Raisins+Fires+Raper Vans=Janessa.

My hand gets all sticky after eating all my raisins.. But I still love raisins all the same.

What's up, world?
(Oh, Please don't be that guy who says, "The sky.")
In fact, while we're on the topic of being That Guy, I'm going to go ahead and start this blog post out with one of my own personal encounters.
I once went to this big Bonfire thrown by UofU students. It was in the desert-ish part of Tooele (side note: LOL at me saying that. I feel like ALL of Tooele is desert-ish.).
So it started out really cool, tons of humans were showing up by the minute and my girl Karli was introducing me to all these new people. There was a live band and dancing and the fire was burning high. My front kept getting crispy so every now and then I'd turn around and let the fire cook my backside. I guess you could say I felt like I was a self-proclaimed human hotdog being turned over a campfire.. Fun.
Then the coppers showed up and told us that the invisible hermits that lived in the nearby hills were complaining about the noise. So our awesome party quickly died. Now, you have to understand that for reasons that even I am not aware of.. I'm always one of the last awkward linger-ers at a social gathering. I just don't know when to quit. :( Le Sad. The crowd's numbers were noticeably thinning, and eventually there was about 30 of us half-heartedly small talking around this lonely, giant fire.
-I notice that in strange moments where I don't know what to do with myself, I tend to just kind of.. Look up. So here I am, away from the city lights, just looking at all the stars.. And then I notice a lot of other people are doing this too. THEN... This guy pulls out his desktop of a smartphone and opens an app that points out Constellations. Soon people were walking over to him and he had quickly drawn a miniature crowd.
Now picture me scurrying over to him to see what all the fuss was about. As I walked over to him, He turned to me and said, "Haha, I know I know I know... I'm That Guy with the Stars app." I thought to myself, What a funny thing to say. Who says that? He seems cool. Yes. He is weird. I like him. I continued to stare and make up ideas about him in my head... Until I began to notice he was saying, "Yeah yeah, I'm That Guy with the Stars app" to Every Single Person that walked over. In my mind I was like, omgwtfbbq? He is saying that exact sentence to Every one of us! Cool factor suddenly went down. He recycles funny phrases within seconds of saying them. He is generically funny. Nope. Can't date him.
And with that, you now understand how I weed through guys and decide who is dateable and who is not.
HAHA. Sorry if you read all of that and are now like, "Okay........... :3"
oh. :3 <-----this is a catface, by the way.

Moving Along!
Something bad happened to the lot/driveway in front of my house. (My dad told me I should write DRIVEWAY next to LOT because people will think I'm weird and that this would make it more understandable if I added DRIVEWAY in......... Anyway.) There is now a White van in my driveway. But hold up, it's not just some white van. It's a rape van. I should have suspected it.. I caught my parents looking at it on KSL a few nights before.. (read my next sentence in one of those voices where you're trying really hard to stay calm, but by the end of the sentence you're practically shouting, ok?) ....But I never thought we would actually be the OWNERS of a huge white bus van with filled-in windows?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I practically fainted in my car when I pulled up and saw that thing in my lot. In MY parking spot. Those vans you could picture getting kidnapped and raped in? Rape Vans? Yup. It's ours and what's done is done, so now I must deal with it accordingly. So... All I have to say, is.. Hide your kids.
Remind me to dedicate my next blog solely to my Dad. Howard. He kicks butt.

Oh, I totally am a Hypogriff. I mean a Hypocrite. In my last post I complained about FB and Twitter. But...... I have a Facebook. and a Twitter. @DipnDap :D yay.

Awe, my mom just ran inside half crying and said, "My happy plant is dead!"
She is so cute. Remind me to dedicate my next blog to my Mom too now. She is Great.


Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm Baaaaaaack.

It's been like 6 months since my last post. I think I'll just make this blog an update since the prior. I've been one busy little duckling. Also, I figured out how to do pictures, so be ready for a little handful.

First of all, I would just like to take a moment and draw attention to my last post, where I showed a picture of my new precious little kitten, Pierre. Fast forward a chunk of time.. The picture below is what he looks like Now..
I guess we all kind of grow up and get fat eventually.

So here is a quick run-down on what in the world my silly life has been doing for the past half-year.

- I work at Best Buy. I want to sell you a camera, so please stop in soon. Here is a picture me and my little brother, Derek, took on the store's display for the iPad 2 while stopping in one day. He took the liberty of making it the iPad's background.
Then next day while working, a customer came in wanting one.. So naturally I walked them over to our demos. Let's just say when they picked it up and I saw what the wallpaper was.. I was slightly embarrassed. They were like.. "Oh.. Is that you..?" and I had to do that awkard thing where you explain a story that goes blabbering on pointlessly instead of just simply replying, "Yes."

-Still haven't spent a single day in a school classroom. Weber never happened. Me and my Cassie friend were like, "Ok, we just did 13 years of school.. We're going to take one year off!" and that's what we did. Only now, we are SO bored. It's unholy. Yeah there's work to give time to and what nots, but it gets bad. Soon you find yourself taking like 3 baths in a single day just to pass time, sewing your name into your underwear to stay occupied, or it even gets to the point where you actually begin desiring to clean your room. There's only so much you can do to keep yourself from melting into goop and slipping down through the living room heat vents. So to any recent high school graduates.. GO TO FREAKING SCHOOL. As attractive as the goop idea sounds.. I don't advise it.
Oh but in other school news, I'm now UVU-bound and am most definitely looking for some roomies. Let me know if you are game. :)

-I got my grubbies on all 3 of The Hunger Games. :) what a delightful thing, indeed.

-this is my funny Joseph friend. We get along most days.

I think he'll enjoy that of all pictures, I chose this one.

- I deleted my Facebook. Agaaaaain. Lawl. I get tired of hearing about how great/terrible/boring everyone's day has been. Or being informed how much the weather sucks or reading about how much someone misses someone else. That goes for all you Twitter folk, too. Social foolz.

-Cassie friend's 19th birthday is on the 22nd of this month, and to celebrate.. we are going to drive down to Venice, CA and fry our healthy skin in the hot sun. I can't wait to be 40 and a raisin.. Yaaaaay... Actually.. Let's say cranberry instead. It sounds more elegant. 40 and a cranberry.

- My sister Jenelle is as pregnant as can be.
It's a little boy. :D She is due July 23rd and I am going to be his absolute best friend. They won't tell us the name they have in mind.. But we've definitely thrown in our suggestions such as Zordon, Dwight Schrute and Tiberius, just to name a few. hahhaha.
Sometimes when I look at her.. I think, "Wow, what an incredible miracle that there is another human body inside of her body." ... Buuuut like all good things, I have to ruin it. So after thinking about it for too long, I get the willies and go play with my Pierre cat.

-I have continued to lust after the new Chevy Malibus... I searched the death out of KSL with my Dad for weeks to find one. We decided we didn't need to buy one new if I could get a sweet deal on a car with low mileage.. But while on my faithful search for the dream car... I ended up spotting something a bit better than what I hoped for. It's a little 2008 Chevy Aveo and World, THIS GIRL IS IN LOVE. :) :) :)

Here is my Baby. It's name is Pascal.

:) Well I better make like a baby and head out. It's been very real. The pies I made for my singles ward's dinner (that I probably won't even end up going to) are done. I am so handy with my time. Have a loverly week, my little birds.