Saturday, October 23, 2010

Kitty Kitty Meow Meow + Flanders.

When I realized snakes are basically just tails with faces, I almost cried.
Oh, and Cherry Turnovers from Arby's are HIGHLY underrated.

Well. Instead of apologizing for taking so long to post anything, picture one of the Men In Black, preferably Will Smith's character, running a hand through his hair and suavely saying, "I've been a little busy."

Remember those Series of Unfortunate Events books? There's like 13 or so of the books in the series. Long story short, It's about these 3 charming orphans who's dead parents left them an enormous fortune.. and a man named Olaf is out to get them using ridiculous disguises. It's fascinating. I love the writing. I haven't picked them up since 8th or 9th grade, but I've recently began reading them all again. They are preeeetty funny but at the same time rather sad. I don't care how old you are, if you've never read them.. You need to. Like, now.

I don't tell people this often, but you know how when you're bored on the computer and don't have much to do, you end up watching Youtube vids mindlessly for an hour and a half?? Well that's what I do. But with pictures of kittens. I mindlessly look at cute pictures of kittens.
But, in my defense, it could be worse. There are sites dedicated to people who have my kitty interest x50. There are pages.. blogs... chat forums... all for (I'm supposing,) middle aged women to talk about their cat and how nice and cuddly and happy it is. I've even seen a page with a picture of a cat, and under it, there's a space for the page's members to make a caption. Most of them say something along the lines of, "Oh I'm the cutest cat, my owners must love me!" or, "I'm such a princess, awwwwww" ...........I'm dead serious.
Well.. I've done it again. I was on Facebook the other night when I saw something that Kimberly Vongsenekeo posted. It was a KSL add for a cat. After looking at her post for her new kitty Stitch, I made the mistake of wandering through KSL looking at other little cats.
It was 9pm at the time. The next thing I knew, I was dialing a number and asking if I could come get the cat from one of the advertisements.. and suddenly I found myself in Layton. Picking up this little orange devil.
I named him Pierre. Georges Saint Pierre. He's a fighter and a biter. I like him. :)

Oh, it's raining.
and Darn,
I left my hot new Chevy Malibu's windows rolled all the way down.
I guess that means my super smooth suede seats are now ruined.
Nooot. I don't have a sexy car with fancy upholstered seats to ruin with rain at all.
-ok. I suppose it would've been easier to replace the entire above sentence with this: I DON'T OWN MY OWN CAR. But what would the fun in that be?
.... and yes. I DO find Malibus incredibly attractive.

I hate changing my fb relationship status.

Me and Jordan both just got the newest Ipod Touch!!
Ok. Let me resay that. Jordan just got the newest Ipod Touch. Little old me is still stuck in the past. Needless to say, I'm jealous of him. Although, contradictorily, I'm not really for all the hoop n holler that is Apple. So maybe I'm just envious because he has something fancy and new and shiny that I don't have.
But when he was dangling it in front of my face in the car today to show it off, I was reeeeeeeeeeeeeally tempted to rip it out of his hands and throw it out the window. Hopefully it would land somewhere conveniently soft so that I could come back later and use it for myself. I guess I'm selfish that way.

I work at Zumiez but since I got a second job with In N Out, I haven't worked at Zumiez for literally 3 months.. So I feel like if I walked in right now, I'd be shunned. Or maybe I'm just too timid to go into the store because I absolutely can't stand when people do that annoyingly pointless guilt trip thing. i.e. "Wow, where have you been? Too cool for us now?"
On the bright side, In n Out is CRAZY fun. Come by sometime. I'll make you food. hahahaha.

Did you know that you can't taste what your carbonated drink is for just barely over one second after it's in your mouth? Well maybe that's not a completely accurate fact... But it is when applied to me. haha

You know Shane from Shane Co, the guy on the radio who says, "Now you have a friend in the diamond business." ?? I think his voice sounds kinda like a low version of Flanders from the Simpsons. :)

Well, I'm going to go play with Pierre now. He's such a diva. Tata, friends.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

C'mon gang, We've Got Diem to Carpe.

My mother is a nag.
Cleaning my room is such a drag.
My anger is boiling till I get a pretty rash.
and Then she says "Oh do shut up, take out the trash."
- Janessa Mariah Dapp, 4/25/10 (Nonfictional story told in an accurate account.)

We never answer the phone at my house unless someone leaves a message. (Because we don't have Caller ID and do well to avoid pesky telemarketers who want to let us know about all the vacations we May Have won.) (and just so ya know, I've tried with ALL my might to get dad to let me make a personalized voice greeting. "You've got the Dappies, leave a leave a leave a messsaaaageee!" But noooo... It was too childish for his taste.) But this leads me to a wonderful little tale. This one time, a guy from some insurance agency was calling, but he actually left a message instead of hanging up when he got our voicemail. It went something like this: "Hello, Dapp family. My name is Gregory and I'm just calling to let you know about our most recent Auto Coverage Package. blah blah, more blah.. And we would really appreciate it if you could take just a few minutes to -- BUUUUURRRRP!!-- call us back... Thanks, bye." ... It was probably the Loudest belch I've ever heard as well as the highlight of that entire week. Must've been one of those unexpected bubbles of gas that just randomly rolls up the throat in the middle of a sentence... I dunno. But it had me laughing so hard. After that happened, I caused a big ruckus and got all of my family into the kitchen to listen to the voicemail. Unfortunately, no one found as much humor in it as I did and it made me feel really immature... Eh. Losers.

I had Jordan convinced for a good solid month and a half that my middle name was Matt.

I really like this whole blog thing I've got going on - It makes me happy! :) I was talking to my friend about it yesterday when I realized that I don't like to talk about events... But little details that happened in the events. Like.. If I went to a beautiful wedding.. I wouldn't talk about the wedding... I'd rather talk about the strange looking baby that sat in front of me at the wedding.
hahhaha. What a freak.

  • gave a talk at Jake's and Ammity's baptisms.
  • visited That River wiff my special friend.
  • looked at body-part shaped clouds. (Soooonotwhatyouthink.) Well.. Maybe.
  • watched Jenelle and Tim clean out their freshly broken-into car window.
  • ate a meal fit for a king. or a polynesian. Compliments to Jody. and Dee.
  • prayed.
  • helped some amateur film makers by lending in my weird Celeb Quality face.
  • had some fun teaching myself to skateboard.
  • continued skating for a good 20 minutes while Jordan ditched me.
  • haha.
  • SMILED. a lot. Puppy love is the best love.
Wow, I'm just awkward to the point where it's downright hilarious.
You know how sometimes you just kind of zone out during class and when that Zone Out occurs, your eyes kind of get fixated on something and you can't look away? My friends and I like to call this: The Stupid Stare. Ahh, yes. This happened last Friday to me. The odd part was that the object that I got stuck on was this girl across the room's feet. hhahhaahahha. She had sandles on. Anyway. I was pulled out of my stupor when she curled her feet under themselves. And when I looked up at her face, she was already looking at me. Before she turned into the other direction, she gave me a Why-the-hell-are-you-staring-at-my-feet Look. She caught me! It must've made me look like such a creeper!
- I can't stop laughing in my cute little brain when I think about it.

Well. I'm out like a dud firework on the 4th of July. I'll be back with more strangeness soon. Bye now.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Clean up on aisle Tres.

I think I'd better learn how to put pictures up on here. It appears that I'm lacking in the computer smarts department.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What's Up, Vanilla Face?

By a raise of hands, who can tell me what exactly is so SMART about those funky little Smart Cars? It's just like paying for death.

Oh, hey guys. :) It's been a minute, huh? I missed you. I wish I could tell you that I've been busy doing incredibly impressive things like.. climbing the Himalayas and body-boarding back down naked.. or finding Nemo in Australia... But actually, the truth is, I've been at home. Sitting. For like 4 months. Despite this new-found enjoyment for sitting, The past 18 weeks have been rather colorful. I think I'll try organizing my thoughts into List Form today. Dr. Miller told me it'd help "clean things up."

Things I added to my mom's shopping list this week when she wasn't looking:
  • - Silk chocolate soy milk. I don't care what anyone says, the kind that costs 60 cents more than the other brands really does taste better. Take THAT, generic soy milk.
  • - that new Maybelline mascara that makes your lashes do this: (makes explosion noise).
  • - a gray Snuggy. If they don't make them, they oughta.
  • - a cuter brother.
  • - a variety pack of tropical cough drops.
... pretty well-rounded shopping list.

Reasons why I would probably make a bad parent:
  • - I would spend my paycheck on all of the items listed above. But not for my kid. For Me.
......welll.... I think that about sums it up.

Things that give me the willies:
  • - Small objects in large numbers and really close together. Fingers, for example. Picture like 30 fingers all together wiggling at the same time. Icky. I feel funny just thinking about it.
  • - When the power goes out and I'm in the bath.
  • - Sockless shoe wearing.
  • - Witnessing men shave their necks.
  • - Cotton Balls. You guys. There's just something about them that makes me feel like washing my hands. I realized this fear a few months ago while visiting my sister's apartment in Ogden. There was a bag of cotton balls in the cabinet and after grabbing the bag and looking into it for a good ten seconds.. my insides were crawling and I threw the bag back in and ran to Jenelle telling her about my oddly frightening experience.
  • - Beards.
  • - Certain objects of Styrofoam.

Things I've done while waiting for the light to change:
  • - Written a symphony.
  • - Painted my passenger's finger nails.
  • - Loaded a paintball gun.
  • - Sat calmly.
.... Which one isn't false?! hhahahahaha. How funny...
Oh.. No? Not that funny? Alright.

Well that enough listy listing for me.
Hey did you know that every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie?
I'd better be careful. I'm trying to watch my figure.
Speaking of stamps, I've been going mad writing missionaries. Let's get a round up. From the top! Spencer. Gabe. Joel. Zak. Mitch. and a few others sprinkled in there. But these are the main bros. What great manfriends I have. Such bright examples. :)

Drill is now over for me for forever and ever. Never again will I ever have to run 2 miles every morning, get up at 5, sacrifice my life savings to payments, dance till my feet want to die, or cry to myself pitifully about how hard it is.... My 3 years are up and I can finally relax. But you know what?? I miss it already.

I'm in a SLCC Humanities class. Ish mee Favorite. After learning things like.. the frightening blurps that come with other religions/cultures and about strange things like gender roles and zen gardens... It makes me realize how empty my head is.

To end on a high note, I'd better recommend a song. I heard it somewhere once and then was on the search for it for what seemed like foreverrrr. So glad I found it. :) Hayden, for some reason. I feel like showing this song to you in specific. Maybe you're reading today?