What's up, world?
(Oh, Please don't be that guy who says, "The sky.")
In fact, while we're on the topic of being That Guy, I'm going to go ahead and start this blog post out with one of my own personal encounters.
I once went to this big Bonfire thrown by UofU students. It was in the desert-ish part of Tooele (side note: LOL at me saying that. I feel like ALL of Tooele is desert-ish.).
So it started out really cool, tons of humans were showing up by the minute and my girl Karli was introducing me to all these new people. There was a live band and dancing and the fire was burning high. My front kept getting crispy so every now and then I'd turn around and let the fire cook my backside. I guess you could say I felt like I was a self-proclaimed human hotdog being turned over a campfire.. Fun.
Then the coppers showed up and told us that the invisible hermits that lived in the nearby hills were complaining about the noise. So our awesome party quickly died. Now, you have to understand that for reasons that even I am not aware of.. I'm always one of the last awkward linger-ers at a social gathering. I just don't know when to quit. :( Le Sad. The crowd's numbers were noticeably thinning, and eventually there was about 30 of us half-heartedly small talking around this lonely, giant fire.
-I notice that in strange moments where I don't know what to do with myself, I tend to just kind of.. Look up. So here I am, away from the city lights, just looking at all the stars.. And then I notice a lot of other people are doing this too. THEN... This guy pulls out his desktop of a smartphone and opens an app that points out Constellations. Soon people were walking over to him and he had quickly drawn a miniature crowd.
Now picture me scurrying over to him to see what all the fuss was about. As I walked over to him, He turned to me and said, "Haha, I know I know I know... I'm That Guy with the Stars app." I thought to myself, What a funny thing to say. Who says that? He seems cool. Yes. He is weird. I like him. I continued to stare and make up ideas about him in my head... Until I began to notice he was saying, "Yeah yeah, I'm That Guy with the Stars app" to Every Single Person that walked over. In my mind I was like, omgwtfbbq? He is saying that exact sentence to Every one of us! Cool factor suddenly went down. He recycles funny phrases within seconds of saying them. He is generically funny. Nope. Can't date him.
And with that, you now understand how I weed through guys and decide who is dateable and who is not.
HAHA. Sorry if you read all of that and are now like, "Okay........... :3"
oh. :3 <-----this is a catface, by the way.
Moving Along!
Something bad happened to the lot/driveway in front of my house. (My dad told me I should write DRIVEWAY next to LOT because people will think I'm weird and that this would make it more understandable if I added DRIVEWAY in......... Anyway.) There is now a White van in my driveway. But hold up, it's not just some white van. It's a rape van. I should have suspected it.. I caught my parents looking at it on KSL a few nights before.. (read my next sentence in one of those voices where you're trying really hard to stay calm, but by the end of the sentence you're practically shouting, ok?) ....But I never thought we would actually be the OWNERS of a huge white bus van with filled-in windows?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I practically fainted in my car when I pulled up and saw that thing in my lot. In MY parking spot. Those vans you could picture getting kidnapped and raped in? Rape Vans? Yup. It's ours and what's done is done, so now I must deal with it accordingly. So... All I have to say, is.. Hide your kids.
I once went to this big Bonfire thrown by UofU students. It was in the desert-ish part of Tooele (side note: LOL at me saying that. I feel like ALL of Tooele is desert-ish.).
So it started out really cool, tons of humans were showing up by the minute and my girl Karli was introducing me to all these new people. There was a live band and dancing and the fire was burning high. My front kept getting crispy so every now and then I'd turn around and let the fire cook my backside. I guess you could say I felt like I was a self-proclaimed human hotdog being turned over a campfire.. Fun.
Then the coppers showed up and told us that the invisible hermits that lived in the nearby hills were complaining about the noise. So our awesome party quickly died. Now, you have to understand that for reasons that even I am not aware of.. I'm always one of the last awkward linger-ers at a social gathering. I just don't know when to quit. :( Le Sad. The crowd's numbers were noticeably thinning, and eventually there was about 30 of us half-heartedly small talking around this lonely, giant fire.
-I notice that in strange moments where I don't know what to do with myself, I tend to just kind of.. Look up. So here I am, away from the city lights, just looking at all the stars.. And then I notice a lot of other people are doing this too. THEN... This guy pulls out his desktop of a smartphone and opens an app that points out Constellations. Soon people were walking over to him and he had quickly drawn a miniature crowd.
Now picture me scurrying over to him to see what all the fuss was about. As I walked over to him, He turned to me and said, "Haha, I know I know I know... I'm That Guy with the Stars app." I thought to myself, What a funny thing to say. Who says that? He seems cool. Yes. He is weird. I like him. I continued to stare and make up ideas about him in my head... Until I began to notice he was saying, "Yeah yeah, I'm That Guy with the Stars app" to Every Single Person that walked over. In my mind I was like, omgwtfbbq? He is saying that exact sentence to Every one of us! Cool factor suddenly went down. He recycles funny phrases within seconds of saying them. He is generically funny. Nope. Can't date him.
And with that, you now understand how I weed through guys and decide who is dateable and who is not.
HAHA. Sorry if you read all of that and are now like, "Okay........... :3"
oh. :3 <-----this is a catface, by the way.
Moving Along!
Something bad happened to the lot/driveway in front of my house. (My dad told me I should write DRIVEWAY next to LOT because people will think I'm weird and that this would make it more understandable if I added DRIVEWAY in......... Anyway.) There is now a White van in my driveway. But hold up, it's not just some white van. It's a rape van. I should have suspected it.. I caught my parents looking at it on KSL a few nights before.. (read my next sentence in one of those voices where you're trying really hard to stay calm, but by the end of the sentence you're practically shouting, ok?) ....But I never thought we would actually be the OWNERS of a huge white bus van with filled-in windows?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I practically fainted in my car when I pulled up and saw that thing in my lot. In MY parking spot. Those vans you could picture getting kidnapped and raped in? Rape Vans? Yup. It's ours and what's done is done, so now I must deal with it accordingly. So... All I have to say, is.. Hide your kids.
Remind me to dedicate my next blog solely to my Dad. Howard. He kicks butt.
Oh, I totally am a Hypogriff. I mean a Hypocrite. In my last post I complained about FB and Twitter. But...... I have a Facebook. and a Twitter. @DipnDap :D yay.
Awe, my mom just ran inside half crying and said, "My happy plant is dead!"
She is so cute. Remind me to dedicate my next blog to my Mom too now. She is Great.
I also said I'd mention Allie Webb in this post, so here it is. ALLIE WEBB HAS LONG HAIR AND I HOPE SHE NEVER CUTS IT AND I ENJOY MAKING GOALS WITH HER THAT FALL THROUGH BECAUSE WE MAKE PLANS TO BREAK PLANS AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT AND SHE HAS CAT EYES AND SHE LOVES CATS JUST LIKE me.
Oh, I totally am a Hypogriff. I mean a Hypocrite. In my last post I complained about FB and Twitter. But...... I have a Facebook. and a Twitter. @DipnDap :D yay.
Awe, my mom just ran inside half crying and said, "My happy plant is dead!"
She is so cute. Remind me to dedicate my next blog to my Mom too now. She is Great.
I also said I'd mention Allie Webb in this post, so here it is. ALLIE WEBB HAS LONG HAIR AND I HOPE SHE NEVER CUTS IT AND I ENJOY MAKING GOALS WITH HER THAT FALL THROUGH BECAUSE WE MAKE PLANS TO BREAK PLANS AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT AND SHE HAS CAT EYES AND SHE LOVES CATS JUST LIKE me.
Yay no hair in my food! I enjoyed reading, but where was the auntie love? No mention of your new adorably sliceable nephew?
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